


The Rules of Marriage, According to a Sparkling

by Graveyard



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe - Children, Arranged Marriage, Crying, Cute, Happy Ending, M/M, Sparklings, Temper Tantrums, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1936260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graveyard/pseuds/Graveyard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Decepticon sparklings have just learnt about marriage, and play weddings have quickly become the most popular pastime on the playground. However, not everyone is happy about this new game, especially when Starscream finds himself engaged against his will!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rules of Marriage, According to a Sparkling

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for a Tumblr meme. The challenge was "Childhood AU". I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but playground marriages were a pretty popular thing when I was little. I guess in this case they are popular with everyone but Starscream. Anyway, I don't write nearly enough Decepticon stuff, so this goes out to all you 'Con fans out there! Enjoy!

Thundercracker and Skywarp dragged Starscream kicking and screaming and digging his heels into the ground all the way across the playground. On most days when they would play tag and sprint laughing around the small fenced-in area it seemed too far too tiny, but today with Starscream fighting them every step of the way it seemed to stretch on forever.  
  
"Dun wanna, I dun wanna!" Starscream shrieked when he was finally deposited next to a small climbing pyramid. Most of the other children were gathered there waiting, seated quietly in a way you would never achieve in a classroom. The only ones standing were Megatron, who had his arms crossed and was looking very annoyed, and Soundwave who was holding a picture book and trying to look important.  
  
"Come on, 'Scream!" Skywarp whined, catching him before he could make a dash for freedom. "I had to marry Astrotrain, and it's not like I wanted to! You just gotta!"  
  
"Yeah, it's your turn," Thundercracker sulked. "We both did it so it's not fair if you don't."  
  
"No! I dun wanna marry Megatron!" Starscream cried, "He's an ugly buckethead with weird eyebrows and I hate him!" There was a collective gasp from the seated audience. Insulting Megatron's eyebrows was practically begging to have your energon cube stolen at snack time. The bully's mouth twitched into a frown, and he growled at the screaming child.  
  
"Come over here and marry me, you big crybaby! I chose you, and I always get what I want!"  
  
"No, I dun wanna marry you! I was gonna marry Skyfire! I want it to be Skyfire!" And then Starscream executed his primary defence mechanism and namesake, dialled his vocalizer all the way up, and sat down for a good loud cry. The kids gathered there made sounds of distress as hands flew over audials to shut out the racket, but it seemed to penetrate right through to their processors. "I want Skyfire! I want Skyfire!" Starscream howled, and then a big white shape was pushing its way to the front of the crowd and rushing over to the wailing sparkling.  
  
"Shh, shh, I'm here. Please stop crying. I won't let them marry you." Skyfire bent down and scooped the sobbing seeker into his arms, holding him close.  
  
"Skyfire, Skyfire," Starscream sniffed, snuggling into the larger child's arms, and the gentle giant hugged him close until Starscream stopped crying and got the hiccups instead. Only then did Skyfire turn to look at Megatron and Soundwave, who were just now taking their hands away from their helms. Skyfire was frowning. Skyfire never frowned. It was a little scary.  
  
"You need to stop being mean to Starscream!" Skyfire commanded, and hearing his voice sound so serious and grown-up made even the playground bully shrink a little in guilt.  
  
"But he has to marry me because I chose him! It's the rules! Soundwave, you tell him!"  
  
Soundwave, acting minister of this whole charade, flipped through his picture book for an appropriate-looking page. He held up a drawing of two turbofoxes sleeping next to each other for all to see.  
  
"Marriage: when two people love each other very much," he offered, parroting something that had once been said to him. Megatron frowned. That almost sounded like Soundwave was on Skyfire's side, and he couldn't have that.  
  
"Ah, but you forgot the rule that says I'm bigger than Starscream and so he has to do what I say!" He seemed pleased by that bit of logic, but it backfired when Skyfire put Starscream down and stood up to his full height. He had hit a growth spurt recently, and was almost a full two heads taller than anyone else. Megatron stared up at him in disbelief.  
  
"But it's my turn!" he offered weakly, "It's my turn to get married!"  
  
Soundwave flipped through the book frantically, until he got to page 12. Twelve was a big number, and that made what he was about to say seem all the more important.  
  
"Rule: if the bride runs away, someone from the audience can marry Megatron instead." He closed the picture book with a snap. "Any volunteers?"  
  
"Ooh, ooh, Lord Megatron! Pick me! Pick me!" A purple arm shot into the air and waved around frantically. Megatron groaned and put his face into his hands. He had made the mistake of playing knights with Shockwave once, and ever since then the overeager youngster had always called him lord. It was getting embarrassing.  
  
"What about you, Soundwave?" Megatron asked pleadingly, but Soundwave shook his head.  
  
"Soundwave: married Thundercracker last week."  
  
"Fine!" Megatron sighed in defeat. "Starscream go marry your stupid Skyfire. I'll marry--ugh--Shockwave."  
  
"Yaaay!" The purple cyclops bounded out of his seat and ran to the front as quickly as he could. He fell down twice on the way there, and Megatron continued to cradle his helm in his palms, whining softly. When they were both arranged at the front, Soundwave opened his picture book to a likely-looking page, hit the play button on his waist to start the wedding music, and then got down to business. During all of this Skyfire took Starscream by the hand and secretly led him around to the back of the pyramid where they were sheltered a bit from all the activity. They sat down on the ground together, Starscream exhausted by his big fit.  
  
"So you wanna get married together?" Skyfire asked eventually, hopefully. Starscream's wings wiggled happily at the thought, but he was never one to make things easy for anyone.  
  
"No," he said petulantly. "I just said that so I wouldn't have to marry the buckethead."  
  
"I'd marry you," Skyfire confessed, and if Starscream blushed energon pink, well, that was just because he found Skyfire really embarrassing. Yes, that was it.  
  
"I think it's a stupid game anyway," Starscream huffed, crossing his arms, but Skyfire just laughed and gave him a hug.  
  
"I mean I'd marry you for real. When we're older and stuff." And seizing the opportunity, Skyfire leaned in and gave Starscream a quick peck on his cheek. Starscream's wings perked upright in shock.  
  
"Ew! Skyfire that's gross!" He wiped down his cheek. "Yuck!" But he wriggled closer to the shuttle all the same. Leaning his head on his big friend's arm, he wondered faintly what a wedding between them would be like, the music in the background fuelling his imagination. Letting out a yawn, because throwing a tantrum really was a very tiring business, Starscream let his optics dim. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. They could hold hands, and all their friends would be there, and then they'd get to go live in a house together. What could be better than a permanent sleepover with your best friend?  
  
"Maybe we could get married," he said drowsily, "maybe." And then, because the sun was warm and Skyfire was holding him so closely, he fell asleep, despite the fact that he normally hated naptime.  
  
"I'd like that," Skyfire agreed, resting his head on Starscream's.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you just need something pointless and adorable. I hope this brightened your day.


End file.
